Lawn Nipples

Inspired by a recent post on The Bloggess, I happened upon some interesting fungi growing outside my front door, and was amused at their uncanny resemblance to a certain body part.

My WTF?! For the Day...

There are no words...

Poor Stains - No cupcakes for you :(

I look forward to watching "The Soup" on E! every week, because it keeps me from wasting valuable hours of my life watching all the mindless drivel on TV - I get all the highlights with hilarious commentary. Anyway, this part left me rolling. The expression on the dog's face is priceless.



Embedding disabled. To watch the video click here.

In the spirit(s) of the season!

As I helped decorate the tree with my family over the weekend, we found this old Christmas gem that is my all time favorite holiday song. Enjoy:

Ike = Sauron... it fits!

see famous look-a-like faces

Eddie Izzard, Stripped

I saw Eddie Izzard at Jones Hall last night in downtown Houston, and he was hilarious! I enjoyed the show more than some of his most recent stuff, and I hope this one ends up on DVD. Eddie usually does his shows in drag, since he is a "card-carrying transvestite", but I suppose being in the land of Bush he decided to dress more conservatively - with jeans and a tuxedo coat with tails! His topics cover history, and this one went all the way back to the Stone Age. He came out for a brief encore at the end, and encouraged Americans to vote in the upcoming election. I've been a fan of Eddie's for years, and turned several people on to his stand-up act. I'm really glad to see he is reaching a wider audience now, and it was such a thrill to see him live!

Project Runway Goodness

I'm not going to bother blogging about Project Runway since there are so many good sites out there that can do it much better than me, but I have to say that each time I watch Christian I am reminded of the Chris Kattan SNL character Azrael Abyss from Goth Talk. Do you think he ever worked at Cinnabon???

Funny stuff on a dreary day

All this news about Heath Ledger seems to be bringing everyone down. Even President Bush cancelled an appearance due to the news. I thought I'd post some funny stuff to compensate, since I kinda needed a pick-me-up today myself:

25 Weirdest toys

Jerry O'Connell spoofs Tom Cruise's nutty Scientology video

Enough Crazy to Go Around

We all know Britney has gone off the deep end, but she's not alone:

Celine Dion is a loony

Beyonce is a nutjob

Tom Cruise gone apeshizz

But crazy isn't reserved only for the famous... crazy exists all over:

Video gamers gone wild

Even cats are losing it

Posts found via Gawker, PITNBlog, four four, and You Tube

Dane Cook at Toyota Center

Had some very good seats to the Dane Cook show at the Toyota Center on Friday night - 17th row on the floor! I had no idea his following was so pronounced, and it was my first time to hear his live act. A few problems I had - the tickets said 7:00 pm, and he didn't take the stage until about 7:45. Although there were a lot of people still trickling in, it would have been nice to have at least an opening act to entertain us if he didn't plan to come on stage until almost an hour after we'd been sitting there. Also, does every venue absolutely have to scalp you on everything? I had already shelled out a pretty penny to be there, and the Toyota Center has the gall to charge $7.00 for a lousy Miller Lite? I so enjoy taking it up the rear from corporations...

As for the act - it was very good. I like his storytelling style, and he has a really honest perspective of the inner workings of the pseudo-adolescent male mind. It is really good insight on what your boyfriend/sig. other is thinking about at any given time. Although I did hear from several people there that he used some old material, he apparently had a lot of new also, and combined his best stuff for about a 1 1/2 hour set (encore included).

After the show we dropped by my friend Matt's for his yearly Christmas party and drank some really good beer. Now if I can just finish my Christmas shopping...

Second City at UH Homecoming

If you were one of the lucky few to catch the (free to students) $5 show at U of H last night, then you were treated to some excellent entertainment by the Second City touring company. Second City is based out of Chicago, and is a mostly improv group that began some of the great comedic talents like Bill Murray and Tina Fey. I had the honor of being friends with one of these multi-talented people, and was able to catch the show after my evening class. Unfortunately, it wasn't given the advertisement it should have, so there were a lot of empty seats. The only reason I knew about it was from my friend in the show. The show was part of the UH Homecoming celebrations all week, and only got a blurb of a mention on the website.

But what a great performance! I take my hat off to these guys who throw themselves out there with skeleton scripts and audience prompts to determine what course their skits will take. A few of the skits had some stumbling blocks, but for the most part they had the audience rolling with their antics. If you ever get a chance to see these guys live, GO! It is like watching a live episode of "Whose Line is it Anyway?". Just hilarious. And a shout out to my friend Anthony who rocked his performance!!!

Today's Headlines

Wow, some of the headlines from CNN are making me go, "huh?"... I mean, who is writing this stuff, and I hope they are getting a good laugh out of it.


Latest News
YouTubers, comedians mock O.J. Simpson .... um, did you expect them not to?
Student Tasered at Kerry event .... freedom of speech, anyone?
Ticker: Rapper 50 Cent weighs in on W.H. race .... can someone tell me why this is news?
Dragster disintegrates in flames at 310 mph .... who was driving, Wile E. Coyote?
WSB: Armless man quizzed in neighbor's death .... do I need to comment?
Man puts rattlesnake in mouth, gets bitten .... call Darwin Awards, we have a runner-up
WDSU: Expert: Sirens irritate killer bees .... great, now we can piss them off even more!
No testimony from ex-Spears bodyguard .... when will this mad circus end?
Prostitution plan zaps buyers, not sellers .... could we get a great big helping of DUH this morning?

Everybody's Talking: Britney's a Hot Mess

I don't make it a point to watch the VMAs every year, mostly because MTV doesn't actually show videos any more (and I LOVE the fact that Timberlake made a point to say that twice!), so I have no idea which ones are worth winning. But I heard the hype, and watched while putting together some new bedroom furniture, and it delivered on the entertainment factor. I knew it would be interesting when the first thing we see is a close-up of Britney Spears' very bad hair extensions. Poor thing... her performance was, in a word, laughable. It amazes me that these girls can surround themselves with yes-people and ignore the blatant fact that everyone has stopped being a fan (not that I ever was). After the lip-synching, jiggling, tripping, and being helped around onstage by her dancers, the performance was followed up by a scathing bunch of jokes at her expense. So now all the gossip is about the fight between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, Kanye West's temper tantrum, Paris Hilton leaking the fact (that we already knew) that Christina Aguilera is pregnant, and the really good performances by Chris Brown, Alicia Keys, the Foo Fighters, and others. All the gossip blogs are a buzz...

Celebitchy

Pink is the New Blog

VH1 Blog

I Don't Like You In That Way

Pretty on the Outside

A Socialite's Life

Dramatic Chipmunk

I've already sent this to just about everyone I know, but I'm not tired of watching it. It's claiming to be the funniest 5 second video on the internet, and I'm bound to believe them. The music makes it even more hilarious, so make sure you have the sound on. The expression on this little guy's face is priceless!!!

Dramatic Chipmunk (really a prairie dog, but who cares - be sure to check out the remixes, too!)

Two Morons

I set my TV as an alarm, and I was rudely awakened this morning by two morons screaming at each other. After I realized I was not having a bad dream, I looked over and saw Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera (two of my least favorite people) going at it like a couple of pit bulls. I just have to ask - why are these two idiots on TV, and who values their opinions about anything?

Wabbit Season! Lawyer Season!

K-Fed, the Giant Douchebag

I could not contain my laughter at this crazy clip of Mr. Britney Spears jamming to his sad new single. I know it is all over the net by now, but I just had to add it here since it is the funniest thing I've seen all week.

E-Mail of the Day

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything that you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now, it's MY fault!

Hurricane Rita Drinking Game

Most of my family is from the Beaumont area, so I can afford to joke about it. They all made it through okay, though we don't know how everyone's homes fared. I guess we'll see when they can all return home. Until then, we are having fun watching the footage and laughing at the anchormen.

Take a sip when:
1. Anyone loses a hat while standing in 50+ mph winds.
2. Anyone loses the feed and cuts to someone who has no idea they are on TV.
3. Anyone finds someone toothless to interview about "riding out the storm"

Take a big gulp when:
1. Anyone says "hunker down"
2. Anyone says "this place is like a ghost town"
3. Geraldo Rivera finally shows up on Fox News

We are all drunk now. Happy hurricaning!

Fan falls at Yankee Stadium

No matter what kind of day I've had, it's good that I can always count on others to make me feel like less of a moron...